First of all, my blog in all forms is for LGBTQ WOMEN. There is so much already out there about and for men. I am not a gay man nor do I have interest in men, so there is no reason for me to cover these things. Furthermore, queer women have many different stories and challenges because being a queer woman, particularly a queer woman of color, constitutes an intersectionally marginalized identity. There just isn’t enough space out there for women, and so there will be little to none about the G here.
(Preemptive disclaimer: I have nothing against gay men at all, quite the opposite, and I support their rights as much as my own. L and G’s of course have much in common. However, gay men have plenty of their own space and the best people to talk about gay men are other gay men. That’s not me.)
Careful study of my blog will also lead to the disclosure that I identify as a lesbian, so my natural everything is tuned directly to L. It’s who I am. An even closer perusal will lead to the discovery that I believe the media should make room for people to speak for themselves—meaning when discussing media representations and identity, the conversation is most meaningful when someone of the identity represented leads it. That is not always me unless we’re talking primarily about the L.
Since my focus is women, this leaves the B, T* and Q* women lighter in content on my blog than the L. I am very aware of this and learning how best to fix this with respect and honoring my goal of creating space for queer women to speak their own truths. Similar to above, because I do not identify as any of these, I am not the best authority on B, T* and Q* women—they are.
I have learned sometimes being quiet and getting out of the way for individuals to tell their own stories is far more powerful rather than imposing narrative—no matter how well-intentioned—on people’s experiences I can never fully understand nor articulate with the same depth as someone who has lived it. I can’t know what it means to fear as a trans* woman of color or the constant erasure of the B. I can certainly empathize, but I can’t know it in my bones. I have no intention of co-opting and drowning out important voices in our community that need to be heard in their own words, not mine.
I include that my blogs serve to amplify LGBTQ women because I also want to create spaces that feel welcoming and open for voices beyond my own. I will always support anyone’s right to love and identify on their own terms. I view my blogs as living documents that learn and grow over time, through empathy and a lot of listening—two concepts I think could do the world a whole lot of good if applied generously overall. It’s a work in progress.
At the moment; however, I am a lesbian, and that’s the voice I use most often because it is mine.